How Dangerous is Internet Pornography?- Interview with Eddie Capparucci, PhD

James Egidio: 0:45

Hi,I’m James Egidio.Your host of the Medical Truth Podcast,the podcast that tells the truth,the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the American healthcare system.With over 106 large pornography sites on the internet.And millions of websites directly or indirectly operating in this type of business.Internet pornography has become a$100billion a year industry.Porn websites get more traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined.In one year a single porn website gets4.5billion downloads.My guest specializes in treating problematic sexual behaviors,including pornography.Among his many clients have been professional athletes,including NFL and major league baseball players and television personalities.He has written several books.His latest book is Understanding Your Inner Child and Overcoming Addiction.It is an honor and a blessing to have on the medical truth podcast.Dr.Eddie Capparucci.Hi,Dr.Caparucci.How are you doing today?

Dr. Capparucci: 1:50

I’m doing well,James.I’m so excited to be here to talk to you and have your listeners hear what we have to talk about today.I’m very excited.

James Egidio: 1:59

Thank you so much.Thank you.Welcome to the Medical Truth podcast again.share with the listeners and viewers of the Medical Truth Podcast,a little bit about who you are and what you do.

Dr. Capparucci: 2:09

Yeah.I’m a licensed professional counselor and I’ve been in practice now for over12years,and I specialize in the area of sex and pornography addiction.I have a private practice in Highland,North Carolina with my wife Terry.I work exclusively with men who are juggling with the sex and porn addiction,and she works with the partners who have been betrayed by them.I’m also the creator of called the Inner Child Model for the treatment of problematic sexual behaviors.And that is a trauma based model because I’m of the belief that when it comes to addiction,all addictions,that one of the biggest problems we have is our inability to sit with emotional discomfort emotional pain,and what drives that emotional pain in many cases are unresolved childhood pain points that still haunt us today.So for me,I’m a big believer in the why question,why do I think,feel,and do the things I do?Because I believe if I can answer those questions,I become very empowered to make real healthy decisions that can help me learn how to manage my addiction.

James Egidio: 3:31

Yeah,I I have a lot of questions for you to unpack in this particular episode,and one question I have is to start off with is how out of control is pornography addiction in the United States and worldwide?Just to give a perspective to the listeners and viewers of the Medical Truth Podcast,

Dr. Capparucci: 3:51

it is a tsunami.That is what we’re facing is tsunami.It is overwhelming,and the reason that it is that way is because it’s too easy to come by.When you and I were growing up,James,and I’m a little bit older than you are,but the only way we really found pornography was to stumble across it.Okay?It had to be one of your friends,his father or maybe older brother,had a magazine maybe you might come across an,one of those eight millimeter know films along the way,but very rarely.Today,and it’s been this way now for,over30years,three decades.It’s just the press of a button and you’re there and you are inundated with images that we could not even have comprehended when we were kids.For us to see a naked body.Was Maybe a woman in lingerie.But these now,today,they’re looking at some of the most graphic.vile,degrading images you could ever imagine.And that’s the reason why it become,it’s such a problem because there’s no monitoring of it.Anybody can get hold of it and anybody can get as much as they want of it.

James Egidio: 5:24

Yeah.What are the demographics of this addiction as far as age,sex,education,socioeconomic status form in that pornography and sex addiction?

Dr. Capparucci: 5:36

Yeah that’s the interesting thing about this,James.There are none.It crosses.The only thing is maybe for someone who,I mean is in a economic class where they’re destitute and they don’t have any access,but even there,you can now go to the library.And many libraries don’t have filters on their computers that are there,so you could still see it,but to answer your question,it goes above and beyond any socioeconomic or geographic parameters.So we see people in all parts of the world.We see men,women,we see old,we see young.We’re seeing kids as young as seven or eight being exposed to pornography.

James Egidio: 6:26

Wow.

Dr. Capparucci: 6:26

We’re seeing kids as young as10and11who have an addiction already.And that’s the biggest,that to me,that’s the most troubling aspect of it because our children are learning about sex and relationship by watching pornography.Yeah.Little boys are being taught it’s okay to objectify little girls and worse,yet little girls are learning it’s okay to be objectified.

James Egidio: 6:58

Yeah,so it’s setting the wrong example,obviously.

Dr. Capparucci: 7:01

Oh,absolutely.It’s wrong.I’m not sure wrong is the right word.It’s set,it’s setting an example that is not based on God’s design.Of sex in our lives,sex for procreation,as well as for the enhancement of physical emotional intimacy between a man and a woman.That’s what the design was.It had been taken,it had been corrupted,it had been defiled,and it is now to a point where it is not about something tender and special for some people.It’s just about.A physical act is all about lust

James Egidio: 7:43

yeah.Yeah.What are,are some of the signs of internet pornography?Yes,addiction.

Dr. Capparucci: 7:48

Basically,the way we make a determination of whether or not someone has an addiction,it winds up being based solely on the fact of,has the usage of pornography spilled over into other places in their life.For example,if someone now watching porn at work in the workplace,which could lead them to get fired,has it filtered into their relationship where perhaps maybe a man does not want to,be sexually engaged with his wife because again,he would prefer just to watch porn and to masturbate with that,that the fact that they,there’s a certain amount of money that had been spent on it.So those are where we really look at it.Other symptoms are the factors lying being done to cover up the.Behavior.Also,we see a trend toward isolation.People who are involved and born again,you’re not gonna do it out in the open for the most part.So they tend to isolate and even isolate to the point where they say,no,you know what?I got invited to go out with friends tonight,but no,I’m not,because I really wanna see if there’s been any updates on this porn site that I’ve been visiting.And it also,you can tell when we see people start to start to move away from pornography and start to escalate into other behavior,including reaching out to other people so that they can engage in what they’ve seen.So all of those,that kinda gives you a flavor of the many different things that are symptoms of the problem.

James Egidio: 9:42

Yeah.Yeah.So I guess my question too is the which would lead into that is some of the consequences to out of control porn addiction.

Dr. Capparucci: 9:52

Yeah.Once again,there’s quite a few of those too.Basically what porn does,it winds up impacting three aspects.Of our lives.One from an individual standpoint,right?Two from a relational standpoint,and three from a societal.Standpoint.So if we look at,and we start first with the individual one after a while,pornography,if you’re using it on a regular basis,because what you’re doing is you are increasing the level of dopamine in the brain,and dopamine is a neuro chemical.A hormone.And basically what it does,it,it serves to give a sense of pleasure.Once that happens over and over again,the reward system of the brain gets hijacked.So now it’s overloaded with dopamine.And therefore the quest is always for that rush and that high.So that’s one of the consequences.The second consequences is it what it does,it winds up cuing our view of.Sex.Sex is more of an act.Physical act is about the orgasm.Also,the fact that people are object,women are viewed as object.Or if you’re attracted to men,men are.They also see an increase in verbal and also physical aggression.During the sexual act.And the one thing that we see a lot of,and there was been surveyed that approved this,is that people,especially younger,People who are watching porn that many of their the females that they dated felt like they were being pressured by their male partner to act out a script that they had seen on pornography,and therefore,they’re pushed into engaging in activities that they find to be,uncomfortable.Unappealing and maybe even sometimes painful.

James Egidio: 12:07

Yeah.And then the third you is cuz you mentioned there’s three legs to this.

Dr. Capparucci: 12:13

Yeah.I just got through the individual so I’ll go to the relational also.Or relational.Because that one relational about.That’s a guy pushing his own agenda,being very self-centered.But also consequences from relational standpoint is usually what we see.And again,studies have shown that in when one bout utilizing pornography.There’s been a decrease of almost70%in the couples sex life.And therefore,again,there’s also this tendency to start to withdraw.Remember I told you about isolation,right?When you start to isolate from your partner too,the lying also increases.And when the wife finds out,What’s going on In more than70%of the cases,they wind up suffering from betrayal trauma,which is very similar to what post-traumatic stress disorder looks like in that sense.The other thing it does,one,it decreases a partner’s level of satisfaction.With their partner,which is very sad.They don’t find their partner to be as physically appealing.They don’t think they’re sensuous enough because again,they’re being fed the lie of this is what a woman spoke to be.This is the way a woman spoke to act.And also the fact is that it leads to,in many cases,Performance problems where you could see the problems with men having erectile dysfunction.And we’re starting to see that now in men as young as17and18years old.

James Egidio: 13:56

Wow.

Dr. Capparucci: 13:57

Yes.It’s incredible.Incredible what that is.And also retarded ejaculation.So therefore they can maybe have an erection,but they can’t have an orgasm because they’re not used to actually having sex with a woman.They’re used to the masturbation.There’s also another really interesting fact when it comes to couple James,and that was this survey done back in,I think 2019 among lawyers.And what they said was,in more than56%of all cases,that is why someone filing.

James Egidio: 14:38

Wow.So this has detrimental effects,

Dr. Capparucci: 14:42

absolutely.And then if we move to the last one,that’s societal.Okay.What’s going on there?One,we have go back to what I said to you before.People looking at pornography and work again,another survey.What is the survey of human resource?Professional show.Two thirds of them have said they have discovered pornography on an employee’s work computer.Okay.Which also could be their phone that they come.And in many cases now,today,many corporations are developing a zero tolerance policy.So if you get caught with,downloading or j viewing porn,On work equipment,you are usually terminated.I had one client,by the time he came to me,he had been fired by three different employers because of his use of Pornography.The other thing that’s happening here from a societal standpoint,and the reason for that from a societal standpoint,is the amount of time that being robbed by people you know,that should be productive work.Productive work,right?A time is now being used.For this.The other thing is that there have been studies that have demonstrated,and there have been many testimonials that have been done.Tens of thousands from women who have been caught up in human sex trafficking.And because of that,they were also forced to engage in pornography.

James Egidio: 16:22

Yeah,I was gonna ask you about that.And before we get into that even further it seems this is obviously a multi-layered issue from so many different standpoints cuz you’re talking about the human condition here that’s involved with this just.I,it’s hard for me to even wrap my head around a lot of this stuff because,you start with just from a standpoint of relational right?It seems like the accessibility and with the way society is,with the busyness that people are engaged in and women have taken a different role now.Over the last,I don’t know,maybe30,40,50years where they’re no longer tending to the children at home.They’re having children later in life.So they’re more like the breadwinners and have become the breadwinners and it just seems like there’s this detachment with society where.You have the women,like I say,who have taken on the role of becoming the breadwinners,the men becoming less of the breadwinner or not wanting to be the head of the household anymore.And there’s like this frustration.There’s like this frustration where the man figures you know what?I can just find a relationship online looking at pornography.I don’t have to go out.It’s the convenience,it’s the convenience factor of not having to go look for someone to have a real relationship,a physical relationship with someone,a real relationship.That’s what it seems like to me.

Dr. Capparucci: 18:04

Definitely,there’s definitely a part that plays in that,because what you’re talking about is a sense of purpose,right?And when men lack a sense of purpose,that is it’s like death there,cause they feel that they have no value.And when that happened,you’re gonna see them turn to things to help them distract from the feeling of worthlessness that they’re dealing with.So therefore,this is where we’ll see,people dealing not just with pornography,but perhaps maybe also alcohol or smoking large amounts of marijuana.

James Egidio: 18:45

That was gonna be my next question,is the co-occurring I.Addictions that go along with pornography and that,you’re really getting ahead of me.

Dr. Capparucci: 18:52

I’m sorry.But anyway,but that is what goes on in,in some of those cases.Sure.And I’ve seen,and I’ve seen numerous ones where the,dad staying home,the kids are off at school.Mom’s got an amazing job.He doesn’t need to,he’ll be there to pick them up,drop them off,things like that.But during the course of the day,He doesn’t really have a whole lot to do.He may find the chores and things like that,but it’s not,again,it’s not even what the stigma of him staying home.Also,you know why he may love to be around his kids,but the fact is when he goes and hangs out with the other fathers at the soccer practice,they’re all talking about their different jobs and what they do and say,what do you do?I’m a stay at home dad.You know now,which again,and I am not saying there’s anything wrong with a stay-at-home dad.Okay?There are some men who can do it,right?There’s some men who could do it great for you,but there are other men who are doing it.And they’re not happy with it.Or again,they feel this stigma that,again,what do you need to do?I have to try,I don’t wanna feel this.I wanna feel weak.I don’t feel emasculated.I don’t wanna feel less than,so what am I gonna do?I’m gonna go distract myself,and some of’em are gonna use pornography.Some of’em will add the alcohol on or active marijuana on and those are now you have.Even bigger problems right at home.

James Egidio: 20:29

That compounds the issue.

Dr. Capparucci: 20:30

Yeah.But you are right there.There is an element of that is taking place.I would also say that’s probably a small percentage of the people that we’re talking about,but it’s still,yet it’s still a problem.

James Egidio: 20:46

Yeah,and I can also see that being,and I guess what I was alluding to too,when I was trying to gather my thoughts was.Especially for a single guy because it’s so easy.And like you said early on at the beginning of this episode,is that the fact that someone’s single and the convenience of being able to access internet pornography,Substitutes for having to go out and look,and I say,look,or try to create a normal relationship,a one-on-one human relationship.So it’s much easier to have a relationship with that porn site.Yeah.Cause I guess what the point I’m trying to make,

Dr. Capparucci: 21:29

right?And,but and think about it,James,what you hit on,and this is a bigger problem,what you’re talking about now,okay.We’re going back to the.Last,the last couple generations starting with,the millennials,right?There are hundreds of thousands,if not millions of young men.Who don’t know what it means to be in a relationship.Just because of the things you were just talking about.They got addicted to porn at an early age.They don’t understand what sex healthy sexuality is based on Gods design.They don’t know how to really treat a woman.Cause in many cases they don’t even see the model in their own out with the level of divorces that have been going on.With everything at three,they are emotionally undeveloped.They’re emotionally immature.So now we’re seeing people who maybe when they finally do wind up meeting someone and they do wind up,getting married,it’s an absolute mess.Yeah,because again,they don’t know how to resolve conflict.They don’t know what,again,that healthy sexuality looks like.I had a couple in front of me that’d been married for maybe5,6months and during one sexual encounter,and she hadn’t known that he was looking at porn.He put his hand around her neck and started choking her.And she was like,and she couldn’t breathe,and she finally was able to knock him off.And then she’s what?What are you doing?And he goes I thought you would like that.And she goes,what in the world ever would give you that idea?She goes I saw it on a porn video.Wow.And now they were in my office if they were now y.I admitted to having looked at porn since she was almost13.He was now like23,24,and then now all of a sudden it came to her.Now I know where you came up with all these different ideas and thought that you wanted me to act out and engage with you in.And some of them she did,and she felt awful.She felt like she violated herself.She violated her own moral code.I remember one couple who came to me,they were a little bit older,they were in their thirties where he wanted to watch her having sex with other men.And he got that all from pornography and she didn’t wanna do it.She’s no.And he would mope.And he would pout.And so finally she said fine.And she did it.And everything just fell apart,of course.Cause after she got done,she was horrified.Yeah,she was horrified.And you know what?You was mostly horrified about the fact that he was so excited at looking to schedule another event would maybe a different time.

James Egidio: 24:38

Wow.

Dr. Capparucci: 24:38

And that’s what really.Just scared to death.They wound up getting a divorce back.

James Egidio: 24:43

Yeah.That’s,you’re talking,it’s very,it’s a traumatic situation.It seems like too it undermines the emotional.This pornography addiction undermines the emotional attachment,that you would normally have with a person.Gosh,I grew up in a generation where,when you dated someone,you courted them.You went out,you went to dinner.You had conversation.You looked in that person’s eyes.And that,that’s how I still believe.But I think this generation because of the accessibility of internet pornography,and again,it’s so accessible and so easy to to access without having to develop any emotional,attachments.Plus financially too.A lot of men will,that are.Like you say,they’re not working or whatever.Hey,it’s easy.I can just look at internet pornography and I can have a session or whatever it is that they have.Looking at internet pornography and that’s pretty much it.

Dr. Capparucci: 25:40

That’s the end of it.You’re talking a lot about what you’re talking,you did my my latest book of Why Men Struggle to Love.And the whole concept of that book is in being sober enough.And what it talks about is that we are creating generations of men who are emotionally undeveloped.They don’t know how to nurture a and cultivate a healthy relationship.Yeah.And that makes them,and that is because one,they have been exposed to pornography from an early age.And two,that exposure has given them the idea that,oh,Love is about sex.Yeah,love is about physical intimacy and therefore they develop a mindset that,oh,let me show you how much I love you by how I can make you feel physically,and they believe that and they feel this,that I never feel more loved than when you’re physical with me because what they’ve done,if they confused emotional intimacy with physical intimacy,Yeah,they’re thinking,being physical,having sex is emotional connection and they are wrong.God designed again for a relationship is based on a foundation of emotional intimacy,and then we’re supposed to sprinkle.Physical intimacy in to support that.These guys got it backwards.Okay.Yeah.They’re creating it on physical intimacy and they’ll sprinkle in what they think might be some sort of other emotional stuff.I’ll get you flowers,they’ll give you a card,whatever,and they think that’s what it is.So yeah,that I spell that all out in the book.Why Men Struggle to Love?

James Egidio: 27:46

Yeah.And I also think too,and you may correct me on this,you may on what I’m about to say,but I also think there’s a societal influence that internet pornography and just pornography in general and with the media and entertainment and everything that it’s normal.It’s a normal thing.It’s a normal thing to engage in pornography or look at it and so we live in a very sexual society where it’s all about,vanity and all that.So there’s a lot of pressure too,I think from that end of it.As well.Am I right?Am I off base

Dr. Capparucci: 28:23

you are absolutely correct because there’ve been studies that have demonstrated the fact that people don’t really feel like it’s not that big a deal.Fact the BAMA Group,BAMA group back,I think it was in the mid about2015,they came out with a study where it says45%of adult,25and older think porn’s.Okay.There was also,it was really interesting,they talked to the younger people,like age of13to18,and then they had them list,okay,what are the most destructive things?More than half put in not being conscious of global warming and the environment.Less than a third put in pornography.Okay.So therefore,to your point,you’re absolutely right.They think it’s not a really a big deal,but there are over a hundred different studies.That are out there that have demonstrated the harmful effects of pornography.And James,my wife and I,we’re in the trenches every day working with family,with people who have gone through this.Who’ve gone through the addiction and we’ve watched it ripped the family apart.Sure.Ripped the family apart because the mom who thinks,oh,my life is wonderful.This is great.Finds out,oh,dad’s been looking at porn for the last15,20years.Yep.That ruined their sex life,she’s thinking more about her and that I’m getting older and he doesn’t find me appealing.And now that dynamic between the two of them would now become very confrontational.But if you look at saying,I am not doing,I’m doing what every other guy does,right?And she’s saying,I don’t like this,now goes over to the kids.Who are like all of a sudden our home,which would rather calm,calm,had become a war zone.

James Egidio: 30:39

Yeah.And I think a lot of people who are listening and watching this don’t realize,especially when it comes to porn addiction,it’s no different than addiction to drugs or alcohol or gambling.Like you said at the outset of this episode,is that you’re talking about the same neurochemical Neuro neurochemicals.Norepinephrine and adrenaline and all these things that are all combined.And then it’s also creating like this imprint in the brain.So you’re getting the same sensation as if you did a line of cocaine or,oh or meth or whatever.And so it’s just obliterating people physically,mentally,emotionally.There’s so many things involved with,I think internet pornography.And then on the flip side of that,the people that are watching that and engaging in that also don’t realize that there’s this dark side.Or these hidden truths about the porn industry,that it contributes to child sex trafficking that industry does,from what I understand.Yes.Also mostly child sex trafficking and a lot of drug and alcohol use,a lot of drug use.So you’re supporting a lot of nefarious.Dark underworld forces in this particular industry,when you engage in that,

Dr. Capparucci: 31:57

let me give you a quick example of that.Exactly right,because I can’t,how many guys have come in to see me because they’ve been dragged in and they’re like,I don’t see the big deal about pornography.You know what?So what?These women.They want this,they like it.They’re highly sexualized,they want it for the money.I’m like,okay.All right.So tell me about the time you met that12year old girl and you said to her,so what do you wanna do when you grow up?And she said,I wanna take my clothes off in front of a camera and have sex with strange men and women.When did you find her?When did you talk to that woman?That little girl?I’ve never had an answer yet.Yeah,never.And you know what,James,what’s really frightening?What’s horrible?What’s actually sickening?That there are some of those little girls out there.Yeah.But you know why they’re out there and why they may be thinking that way is because somebody have hurt them really bad.Sure.And they have no sense of self.They think they’re worthless,they think they have no value.And all they were,the only reason they exist is for people to use them.And that exactly when we engage in pornography,and I’m like,a guy goes,oh,I’m not doing it.I wasn’t filming it.No,you’re the consumer.Without the consumer.There are no films,So therefore you are just as guilty as the producer or the person who’s doing the video taping of destroying the dignity of that woman as they are,guilty.

James Egidio: 33:39

That’s right.And not realizing that’s someone’s daughter or granddaughter or whatever.You know what I mean?

Dr. Capparucci: 33:46

Absolutely.That was a12.That was an innocent young girl at one point.Yeah.Who would never have wanted to do that.Never.

James Egidio: 33:54

Yeah.Yeah.

Dr. Capparucci: 33:55

But she got pushed into it.And I’ll tell you,whenever I find the women who have voluntarily agreed to go do that,there’s always the guy behind them who’s sitting there saying,Hey,you know what,I really,I,I wanna share you with the world.You are just so beautiful,so sexual,so I,it’s so horrible that I’m keeping you to myself.Plus,you know what,the money we could make,oh my gosh,we could be retired in a couple years,blah,blah,blah.That you got the con orders.They’re nothing more.than Pimps,

James Egidio: 34:35

right?That’s what they are.That’s what they’re,and then forcing these kids into this or forcing these girls into this too,as well.A lot of people think it’s just prostitution is separate from pornography,

Dr. Capparucci: 34:47

it’s not.

James Egidio: 34:47

They coexist because

Dr. Capparucci: 34:49

they definitely coexist.

James Egidio: 34:51

Yeah.When they’re not using that woman for prostitution,they’re making movies with her.

Dr. Capparucci: 34:56

That’s right.That’s exactly right.And if people don’t,if people don’t believe that they’re being naive,and again,what they’re trying to do is they’re trying to justify their own action.Yeah.By trying to make it look like it’s less.Ugly than it is.It is ugly.And you go and you read or you talk to former women who’ve been in the porn industry.Talk to them almost unanimously they’re gonna tell you about the horrors of what goes on,because now what we’re seeing it becoming more violent,more dehumanizing,more Degrading than ever before.That’s what porn starting to do.And the women like,they’ll say,okay,yeah,I’ll take that job.And they’re told,this is what you’re gonna be doing.It is fine.And then midway through the scene,somebody says,no,you know what we’re doing.Let’s bring in this,part of pain.Let’s bring in that part of pain.Let’s bring in this,Humiliation humiliating factor.And the woman’s I don’t wanna do that.If you don’t wanna do that,put your clothes on and leave.You’re not getting paid.And it’s I just spent an hour and a half here doing this.You’re not getting anything.Yeah.So they go and they do it.They go and they do it.And again,later on they resent.And that’s why you see again,you brought it up before,the level of alcohol and drugs that are on the porn set are.Out of the world.Out of this world.Yeah.Because they need it.The women need it to be able to get by to get to another scene.

James Egidio: 36:37

Yeah.And of course then it leads into depression,suicide for some of these women.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.And question what for a child.Because you said from the beginning that you’re seeing kids as young as7,8,9,10years old,getting engaged in this kind of activity with looking at pornography for a parent.What can a parent do when their child is addicted to pornography or when they have knowledge that their child is addicted to pornography.

Dr. Capparucci: 37:06

That is a great question.I’m glad you brought that up.Cause people don’t talk about it enough.First and foremost,don’t panic.Don’t panic.Do not.You’ll sit there and scold the child.Do not punish the child,do not do anything like that whatsoever,right?Instead,what we want to do is just,to pull the child away from it.Okay.And then the immediate thing you’re gonna do is go and lock down every single device you have,which you should have done before because they could stumble across this stuff,so therefore your part to blame for them looking at it.Okay,so go in.There’s things like coveted eyes.Accountable to you.There’s lots of different software that you could put on every single device.And then what we wanna do,we’re gonna sit with the child and we’re going to educate them.Okay?Yeah.We’re gonna say,you know what?You we’re looking at that stuff.That stuff’s not really appropriate.It’s not healthy for you to be looking at.It shouldn’t even be out there.And you know what I,I’m gonna,and there are different books out there also.There’s many different resources and books where people can get information.And in fact,what I’ll do is I’ll send you some so you can put it in your show notes.Yeah.Where people can go and get that in book that they can read with their child about pornography.It wasn’t called bad pictures or something like that.I don’t remember the name of it,but also like you,you’d be able then to tell a child,look,if you should come across this again,because I’m sure your friends at school are going to show you,or you may find it if you were to a neighbor,that house,whatever.I just want you to come and tell me.All right.I want you to walk away from that and come and tell me You’re not gonna be in trouble.You’re gonna be okay,but this is something we need to stay away from.Yeah.Because it is not good for you.And there are many other steps that are involved,but that just gives you the upfront.To what to do.But I will,like I said,I’ll send you those resources and you can Yeah.Put in,show notes.

James Egidio: 39:30

What are some of the signs for a child that is involved with porn addiction?

Dr. Capparucci: 39:34

The,one of the biggest ones you’re gonna see is a lot of isolation.You’re gonna see a kid who’s gonna want to go behind closed doors because again,you can’t do it in the family,family room or something,right?He has to go somewhere where he can be alone.So I isolation.You’re gonna see a lot of two,what you might see as moodiness,because you gotta remember,kids don’t really understand what they’re looking at.To begin with,right?They don’t know what this is.In fact,there are a large majority of kids who will stumble across porn and they have this sense of shock and awe,and they won’t go back to it again.Because they just don’t know what it is for a while,and then maybe several years later they may get exposed again.But there are also the other kids who look at it and say,again,as shock and awe,cause I don’t know what I’m looking at,but maybe a day,two days later,it’s I wanna go look at that again and see if I can figure out what it is.

James Egidio: 40:45

Yeah.Curious George.They are.

Dr. Capparucci: 40:47

Yes,exactly.Exactly.They’re curious,George.

James Egidio: 40:51

The other thing too,what about slipping grades where your grades are just going downhill?

Dr. Capparucci: 40:56

Oh yeah,that would be another one.Another area that you have to look at when any personality changes.Okay.Whenever you see your child personality shifting in a different direction,you should be on top of that.Now,again,it may not be porn,it could be something else,could be bullying that’s going on,right?All right.It could be that they’re afraid because they can’t,grasp what they’re learning in school and they don’t wanna tell you about it.

James Egidio: 41:26

Drugs,

Dr. Capparucci: 41:26

there could be many things.There could be some drugs,there could be lots of things that are going on.So therefore,whenever you see a personality shift,you have to go there and you can’t take nothing.Have an answer.Yeah.When you say what’s wrong?Nothing.No,there’s something.Okay.And we’re gonna find out what that something is.Cause you are not acting the same way.

James Egidio: 41:49

Yeah.Yeah.And on the flip side of that question,what can someone do if their spouse is addicted to internet pornography?

Dr. Capparucci: 41:57

Yeah.If they find out.That your,that the spouse had been watching a great deal of porn and they believe it’s an addiction.Cause in many cases they don’t know because usually when they find out the spouse does a amazing job of gaslighting them,saying,oh no I barely look at it.I may look at it maybe once,twice a year.And you just happened to stumble upon me that,that time doing it.Do not take them for their word at it or what it is.Go and do something.Go look at the,search engine the history and see if there’s anything that’s in there for it.But if you do find out,yes,there is a problem here,then what you want to do is you want to go find someone who’s certified in the treatment of.Sex and porn addiction,and it doesn’t always have to be a licensed therapist.There are many coaches now who are trained in this area.And you want them to start doing that.The other thing they definitely should be doing is joining a support group.There are many that are out there where again,they could be around people and better understand the dangers of what pornography brings.They can see that,oh gosh,I’m not alone in this,in what I’m doing.And therefore they get more education.

James Egidio: 43:22

Yeah.Yeah.What constitutes porn addiction?

Dr. Capparucci: 43:26

Just in my eyes,I believe that the biggest driver of porn addiction,just like any other addiction,come down to emotional triggers.There are,Traumas or perhaps neglect that we’ve had in our past that have not been resolved,those things still bother us today.We’re just not conscious of them.We’ve done a great job of repressing them over the years.Like for example,maybe you felt very rejected as a child.All right,so therefore at when you were a teen,you became whatever you felt this sense of rejection or felt not wanted or accepted or lonely.You may have went and looked at porn or maybe you started eating food to make you feel better.Okay?Or maybe you started drinking out of the parent’s,liquor cabinet,whatever.And that just carries through.So therefore you learn that whenever I don’t feel in my mood is off.I go to something to distract myself from dealing with it.I had a client years ago when I was doing my residency program where she was a alcoholic and she was also a sex addict and choose a food addict.And the reason she became a food addict to start with was her mother was very volatile.Her father was very passive.And when her mother would light into her,sometimes hit her well after mom went off,dad would take her and say,come on,let’s go for a ride.And he would take her to the ice cream shop.Get her ice cream right.Her mind got programmed that when I don’t feel happy or I feel hurt,or I feel miserable,I have to eat something.Yeah.To make me feel good.And she weighed about300pounds when I was treating her.Wow.So I believe,that’s my belief,that trauma is a,or neglect.Okay.Could be at the core of our emotional issues.And we don’t wanna sit,we can’t sit with that emotional pain.That’s one thing no addict can do.So what do I do?I come up with.Distractions.We learned that at a very,it’s a coping strategy.We learned it at a very young age.So therefore,maybe it starts off with too much television,too much food,too much internet today.Too much fantasy in our own head.Not sexual fantasy,fantasy in general,but and that becomes our go-to.So now I become an adolescent,a teenager,an adult,and I do the same thing.If my mode of operation,I have emotional distress,I can’t sit with it,I run.For something to soothe me or numb me.

James Egidio: 46:30

Yeah.So you don’t think it’s just the rack accessibility in today’s day and age with technology that is driving people,more people to internet pornography as well as the,

Dr. Capparucci: 46:41

I think there are,now remember we’re talking about,there’s two different things,right?We’re talking about people who view pornography and we’re talking about people who are addicted to pornography.And I don’t think either of’em are good to tell you the truth,right?But for some people who look at pornography,you may have somebody who looks at porn,five,six times a year.Not much.You have children who keep porn,like I told you.They look at it.Ooh.And they don’t go back.Okay.The ones who go back are the ones who are trying to escape from feeling the way they feel about certain things.Yeah.Because if that was the case,if it was just the assess accessibility,we’d all have the addiction.Okay.That’s not it.That’s not the way addiction works.

James Egidio: 47:32

Yeah,that makes sense.

Dr. Capparucci: 47:32

With alcohol,drug,food,anything like that.Exercise,they’re all done.Because I can’t sit with this emotional discomfort I need to run.

James Egidio: 47:46

Yeah.Yeah.It’s interesting because like you said,from the very beginning when we were,when I was a child,when I was a kid the only way I would stumble upon is if I went to some friend’s house whose father had a,Playboy magazine in the bathroom or whatever.And I had to go use the restroom and I’d stumble upon it and I’d see it and look at it,of course.Cuz I was,a kid and I was curious.I was a late bloomer.I.Played golf competitively as a kid my whole entire childhood.So I didn’t actually get into any real relationships.I didn’t even go to my prom or homecoming as a kid in high school.So I was a late bloomer when it came to relationships with women.But when I did look at that that Playboy magazine or something in that bathroom or whatever,I would just look at it and just put it down and walk away from it.Just,it didn’t phase me because I had interest in playing golf.

Dr. Capparucci: 48:37

There you go.See the word You used interest.Yeah.You had other interest.

James Egidio: 48:43

Totally.

Dr. Capparucci: 48:43

So many other kids who don’t have interest.Yeah,they don’t have any of it.And that sure becomes a magnet.

James Egidio: 48:51

Yeah,had I never looked at that Playboy Magazine,I’d probably still be playing golf.It would’ve probably be on the tour.I always said that if I didn’t lose my virginity,I’d be a great golfer.Sad.But I really appreciate your time on this episode of the Medical Truth Podcast.It’s been awesome,and I will definitely,as we could see,sharing the links down there below.And I’ll be posting this episode on the website.So anybody that wants to access this,they can watch this online or watch it on Rumble.But I really appreciate your time,Dr.Capparucci,right?

Dr. Capparucci: 49:29

Yes.Capucci.Yes.Thank you,James.Again I’d love being here.Thank you for the opportunity.Hopefully maybe we’ll get to do it again in a future.

James Egidio: 49:37

Oh,absolutely.For sure.Yeah,for sure.It was great.Ever evolving situation,I guess you could say is

Dr. Capparucci: 49:44

without a doubt.Yeah.That the one thing about my job is.It’s never the same.

James Egidio: 49:49

Never a dull moment.

Dr. Capparucci: 49:50

Every day.Every day there’s something different that goes on.Yeah.

James Egidio: 49:55

Thank you so much.

Dr. Capparucci: 49:57

Thanks.God bless you.

James Egidio: 49:58

Thanks,you too.